Jokes On The Us Economic Crisis Options

[Nidhi]

The Jokes' on US: Gallows humour in time of financial meltdown
The Times of India, 11 Oct 2008, 2202 hrs IST, Chidanand Rajghatta,TNN


WASHINGTON: When in pain, laugh. Americans are trying to follow this new prescription amid a financial conflagration that is burning up everything from their 401K retirement account to the value of their homes to pride in their market economy.

Through the hurt and the humiliation, the nation is clinging to gallows humour churned out by the late night joke factories that goes beyond the angry banner unfurled on a Wall Street building this week -- aimed at financial advisors -- which simply read: JUMP, YOU FU*KERS!

Apparently, no one is leaping out of Manhattan high-rises because all the 21st century windows are break-proof. And the 401k, goes the joke, has been reduced to 101k.

"The economy is so bad that today, Dick Cheney was waterboarding his stockbroker," jibes CBS’s David Letterman. His rival, NBC’s Jay Leno quips: "The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market." Neither Leno nor Letterman have much to worry about: They are both paid in excess of $10m a year to crank out their jokes, about the only thing of value the United States still manufactures well.

Some of the jokes don’t even need manufacturing. In New York, a clock that counts the national debt ran out of digits when it ticked over $10tn. As a temporary measure, they have dropped the $ sign from the clock, while hoping the number can be passed off as the Zimbabwean dollar.

Some of America’s most famous symbols are becoming the butt of late night humor. ''President Bush's response to this economic crisis was to meet with some small business owners at a soda shop in San Antonio, Texas, this week,'' Leno related last week. ''Well, the bad news? The small business owners are now General Motors, General Electric, and Century 21.''

Bush of course is getting it in the solar plexus. ''You think he even understands what's going on?'' Leno asked. ''Like, today, they asked about the credit crunch, he said it was his favorite candy bar.'' And when the rescue bill went up to 450 pages, he joked that ''President Bush's copy is even thicker, because they had to add pictures.''

Meanwhile, email inboxes are filling with jokes like this one: What’s the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon? A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Ferrari.

Some jokes even imitate the financial con mails that are filtered into your trash folder. ''I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude,'' reads one. ''I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you...''

Heck, if someone paid a dollar for every joke that’s being cranked out, America might still get by...