A Joke, Not For Minors ;) Options

[bawlachintu]

Best way to get money from any women…

“Hey, Mom,” asked Puppy “can you give me twenty dollars?”

“Certainly not.”

“If you do,” he went on, “I’ll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.”

His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. “Well? What did he say?”

He said, ‘Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.”

This post has been edited by bawlachintu: May 27 2009, 11:31 PM

[Faraaj73]

Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Jason, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?".

The mysterious Man answered "This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St Peter".

Jason was stunned "You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family.... you’ve got to send me back straight away".

St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Jason was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

"This ain’t so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you’re the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"

"It’s not so bad" replies Jason, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode".

"You’re ovulating" explained the rooster, "don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before".

"Never" replies Jason

"Well just relax and let it happen"

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had ever happened to him... ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous SMACK on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting "Jason, wake up you drunken pig, you’re shitting in the bed"