Smile A While.............jokes |
Smile A While.............jokes |
Reeth |
Sep 10 2006, 03:41 PM
Post
#76
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Dedicated Member Group: Members Posts: 2154 Joined: 22-May 06 Member No.: 6151 |
Man comes home, finds his wife in bed with his friend.
He shoots his friend. Wife says " If you behave like this, you will loose ALL your friends!!! " ----------------------------- Small boy wrote to Santa Clause " Please send me a Brother " Santa wrote back " SEND ME YOUR MOTHER " ------------------------------- What is the definition of a MIstress Someone between the Mister and Mattress. --------------------------------- Husband asks " do you know the meaning of WIFE?? " " Without Information Fighting Everytime " Wife replies , " No , It means , " With Idiot For Ever " ----------------------------------- Three Feelings: What's the difference between Stress, Tension and Panic?? Stress is when Wife is pregnant Tension is when Girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when Both are pregnant. --------------------------------------- Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the US?? B'coz people started licking the wrong side . ---------------------------------------- Women asked Man travelling with six children, " Are all these kids yours? " No, I work for a condom factory & these are customer complaints. ----------------------------------------- Two men met, and both were looking for their missing wives. 1st: How does urs look? 2nd: She is 5' 7" , 36-24-36 ,Fair, Black eyes , What abt yours? 1st: Forget mine, let's look for urs. ----------------------------------------- Mother to her teenaged daughter: I think the time is right for us to talk about sex Daughter (Excitedly): Sure, mom what do you want to know?? ------------------------------------------- Son asks Father the difference between confidence and confidential Father says.. You are my son, i am confident, Your friend is also my son That's Confidential ------------------------------------------- The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind -William James |
Reeth |
Jun 26 2007, 12:43 PM
Post
#77
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Dedicated Member Group: Members Posts: 2154 Joined: 22-May 06 Member No.: 6151 |
Sunday School
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The teacher fainted......... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'll Give You... There was a woman and her husband. They were happily married except for the fact that the husband never gave his wife any money. One day, a friend of the husband's comes over while the wife was taking a shower. He rings the doorbell and the wife comes out, wrapped in a towel. He asks, "Is your husband home?" She answers, "No, but he'll back in about 30 minutes. You can stay and wait for him if you want." The friend agrees and enters the house. As the wife is about to enter the bedroom the friend says, "If you flash me I'll give you a hundred dollars." The wife thinks about it, and decides that she does need some money of her own. So she agrees and flashes him. She was about to leave the room when he says, "If you model nude for me until your husband gets home, I'll give you two hundred dollars." She thinks about it and agrees. A couple of minutes later he says, "If you have sex with me, I'll give you three hundred dollars." She thinks about it and agrees. After the sex, he leaves, saying he had other buisness to get to. She thinks happily about the six hundred dollars and what she would do with it. Her husband comes home and she says, "Honey, your friend came over today." He replies, "Oh? Did he have the six hundred dollars he owed me?" The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind -William James |
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