Smile A While.............jokes Options

[Reeth]

Man comes home, finds his wife in bed with his friend.

He shoots his friend.

Wife says " If you behave like this, you will loose ALL your friends!!! "


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Small boy wrote to Santa Clause " Please send me a Brother "

Santa wrote back " SEND ME YOUR MOTHER "


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What is the definition of a MIstress

Someone between the Mister and Mattress.


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Husband asks " do you know the meaning of WIFE?? "

" Without Information Fighting Everytime "

Wife replies , " No , It means , " With Idiot For Ever "


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Three Feelings:

What's the difference between Stress, Tension and Panic??

Stress is when Wife is pregnant

Tension is when Girlfriend is pregnant, and

Panic is when Both are pregnant.


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Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the US??

B'coz people started licking the wrong side .


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Women asked Man travelling with six children, " Are all these kids yours? "

No, I work for a condom factory & these are customer complaints.


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Two men met, and both were looking for their missing wives.

1st: How does urs look?

2nd: She is 5' 7" , 36-24-36 ,Fair, Black eyes , What abt yours?

1st: Forget mine, let's look for urs.


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Mother to her teenaged daughter: I think the time is right for us
to talk about sex

Daughter (Excitedly): Sure, mom what do you want to know??


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Son asks Father the difference between confidence and confidential

Father says.. You are my son, i am confident, Your friend is also my son
That's Confidential


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[NATURE]

" But then when i have a baby," responded the teenager " won't it knock my teeth out".
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latest.

here's one:

Math Lesson:

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:

"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to
satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn
that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant.
I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel
with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact
that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."

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here's another

Low Sperm Count:

A 70 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
"Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day the 70 year old man reappears
at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on - the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explains: "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right
hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with-my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She -
tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She - even tried with her mouth, first with
the teeth in, then with the teeth-out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and-she tried
with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" the old man replied, "yep, but no matter what we tried
we couldn't get the DARN jar open!"

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